Last weekend, Rory Mcllroy won the US Masters golf championship to much international applause and a nice cheque for $4.2m. I saw a much younger Mcllroy at the 2011 Open Championship, held in the pouring rain at the Royal St George’s Club in Sandwich, Kent. My son was 12 years old at the time and had become quite a fan of Rory. So we had to follow him around the 18 holes, getting completely soaked. What was noticeable, though, was the depth of conversation that Rory had with his caddie. And at his victory speech after winning the Masters last Sunday, Rory was quick to praise his caddie for his support.
A few days after I saw this on TV, I was in a tutorial with students when the discussion turned to how they could support each other to improve their studies. I mentioned Rory Mcllroy and pointed out that he did not win the Masters alone. He has a team of people behind him, including two coaches—one for his swing and the other for his putting. The tutorial discussion then moved on to consider entrepreneurs and how the most successful ones do not make it on their own; they have a substantial team of close advisers and supporters behind them.
I made the point from John Donne’s poem that “No Man Is An Island”. And that was quite apt given that this month is National Poetry Month in the USA. As Donne’s poem says, “No man is an island, Entire of itself”. Each of us is dependent upon others for a wide variety of reasons, from emotional support to practical help and critical advice. We are only “entire” because of the people around us.
The question is, are they the right people? Research published this week implies that we need to take a closer look at the people we associate with. The study that shows this comes from Radboud University in Nijmegen, the Netherlands. (I went there once…!) According to the researchers, the reason why boys perform less well than girls at school is due to the friends they keep. For a long time, educational psychologists have sought to explain why, in secondary schools, girls tend to get better results than boys. There have been various theories, such as the earlier maturation of females or hormonal differences during puberty. This new research shows, though, that boys tend to misbehave more than girls at secondary school. This creates a social contagion, where the friends of those who misbehave (mostly other boys) will then find it acceptable to behave similarly. The result is distraction from studies and consequent lower grades. If you have a son in secondary school, his likely achievement is not solely down to his hard work, but is heavily influenced by the friends he keeps.
This relates to another point I made in the tutorial the other day. I pointed out that an individual’s income tends to be the average income of their friends and contacts. Indeed, research at the University of Chicago found that our health is also affected by the friends we keep, due to the impact of income. If you want to be a healthy billionaire, you need to get friendly with other billionaires.
If you want more evidence that you are highly influenced by your social circle, just take a look at what you stream on TV. Whether you use Netflix, Amazon Prime, or stick with Freeview, a great deal of what you watch is what your friends watch. This was demonstrated in a study from Comcast, the advertising company, last year. It found that the number one way we decide on what to watch is based on the recommendation of our friends and work colleagues. So, if you don’t like what you’re watching, get some new friends!
For anyone in business, your promotion at work or your sales success will depend on who is around you in your circle. If you’re not getting what you want, it’s time to increase your networking and expand your circle. We may not be an island, but do we have the right people on our team? Rory Mcllroy clearly thought so. He changed his caddie eight years ago, and that apparently helped him achieve further successes.
Oh, and one other thing, I’m in your circle, of course, so here’s my Netflix recommendation for you. “The Residence” is a quirky comedy about a murder in the White House. And no, the victim is not who you were thinking…!
