The recent stories involving the Royal formerly known as Prince have put the concept of lying firmly back in the spotlight. Because of his unusual relationship with what we think is the truth, Mr Mountbatten Windsor has been given a right royal dressing down and will now live in exile, alone, in the Norfolk countryside.
We all know he is a proven liar. He has claimed he ceased contact in 2010 with the paedophile sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, only for emails to surface showing that to be untrue. Famously, he said in his interview with BBC Newsnight that he suffered a medical condition, meaning he could not sweat. Pictures later emerged revealing him sweating on several occasions. It’s not surprising that the family of Virginia Giuffre have called him a “monster”.
Meanwhile, in an office near you, some people are criticising the lies from the former Prince and joking about the half-truths and fake information from leading politicians. Yet, as you know, many of those people being critical are themselves proven liars. We’ve all worked with people who tell you one thing and one of your colleagues the complete opposite. Lying is a fundamental part of maintaining power over others. Recent research from Sweden suggests that leaders often use deception to manipulate. If you are watching the BBC programme Celebrity Traitors, you will have witnessed everyone in the programme telling lies at some point so that they can exploit the others on their team.
However, it is not just celebrities or leaders who lie; you tell fibs too. When someone asks you, “Does my bum look big in this?” you may sometimes answer “no, it looks perfect, darling”, while thinking the exact opposite. When your boss asks if you have time to help on a project, you say “yes” when you don’t have the capacity and should have said “no”. Lying is normal.
But when do the lies go too far? Is it OK, for instance, for your mobile phone company to tell you that you are on a 5G connection when you are not? Recent research shows that mobile devices will display the 5G logo at the top, suggesting you have a high-speed connection. In reality, you could be connected to the much slower 4G network. Apparently, the 5G logo merely means that these high-speed connections are available in the area, even though you may not be connected to one. We feel that we are being lied to because we interpret the logo as meaning that it is the connection we are using. Yet, from the company’s perspective, it is “information”. Technically, the phone company is telling the truth, but we perceive it as a lie.
One of the problems with telling little white lies is that they can expand into bigger fibs. We set ourselves onto a habitual pathway where it is difficult to stop telling whoppers. We then feel pressured to keep fibbing. That could explain the case of Bruce Murdoch, the Australian neuroscientist who was found guilty of falsifying research papers and fabricating evidence. The court was told that he was under pressure to gain research grants.
So, what if a salesperson is also under pressure to get more buyers? Could they be led into some little lies that fib to their customers? If so, they had better watch out. According to a recent study from Adobe, 70% of us would walk away from a business that misled us in any way. The salespeople might think that their fibs are only a minor issue because the customer will ultimately be satisfied, and so the lie is a means to an end.
A study of nurses in Australia suggests that this thinking also occurs in healthcare. Nurses will fabricate information from monitoring systems if they believe, based on their experience, that a different result would be more appropriate. Similarly, research from Northumbria University in the UK suggests that telling lies to patients with dementia is an acceptable practice. How do you feel now, knowing that health professionals believe that lying is OK?
Lying appears so acceptable that Italian scientists have been teaching deception to robots so that we will perceive them as more human. The World Economic Forum has claimed that lying is increasing in society, and that social media may be one of the drivers behind this rise. So, there is every chance that we are all encouraged to tell more fibs these days.
Yet, as the horror of the frightful behaviour of a former prince suggests, we detest lies. That is shown in all those business meetings you have been to, where eventually some information is disclosed and you all say, “if only there were transparency and better communication”. But that starts with us, individually sticking to the truth. And that is never going to happen because we use lies to try to protect the feelings of others.
Too much lying could trick your colleagues. But a little white lie could be a treat. You have to decide. If your lie protects your ego or your power, it corrodes trust. If it protects someone’s dignity, society shrugs. In the workplace, that distinction matters. People forgive kindness; they don’t forgive manipulation.
