Get people to like you because you like them

A like message on enter keyboard for social media concepts.The Internet is awash with “like” buttons and people ready to declare at the click of a keyboard that they really do “like” your website.


They don’t “like” you at all. They are just pressing buttons because:

[ordered_list style=”upper-latin”]
  1. Everyone is doing it
  2. They don’t want to offend you by not doing it
  3. They are doing it to increase their own visibility

But are they doing it because the like you? Not likely. The chances are high that the vast majority of “liking” on the web is mere window dressing and flim-flam; not real liking at all.

So what is “real” liking?

Real liking is a two-way thing. You like your partner, for instance because they like you. And they like you because you like them. You like your favourite food because it likes you – honestly, it does. It provides you with the right combination of flavour, aroma and texture to get your own particular endorphins going making you feel good. The food you “dislike” essentially also dislikes you because it doesn’t switch on those endorphins, whereas food that “like” you does. And on the web you like a particular service, such as Google’s search engine, because it likes you by delivering exactly what you want. For about one in four people on the web, Google does not float their boat – it doesn’t do things to show it likes them and in return these people don’t like it.

Liking is always two way.

Online “like” buttons, though, are frequently one way. People press the like button more for what it does for themselves, than what it does for the site being liked.

The current trend to get as many “likes” as possible for a web page or a Facebook page is merely getting people to really show that they like themselves because it displays aspects of their personality, rather than being a true indication of those websites actually being truly liked. Why? Because those websites have yet to show that they like their customers.

If you want your website visitors to truly like your website then you have got to demonstrate firstly that you like them. This means providing EXACTLY what they want. It means providing it in the way they want it, when they want it and how they want it.

Liking is a partnership, a relationship. You might do everything you can to make someone like you but the compliment is only returned if you show that you like them first.

So don’t try to get people to like your website. Instead, set about liking your visitors.

[box type=”info”]The concept of “Likeability” is the second step of my CLICK System which is explored in my new book, Click.ology, on 9th January 2014. Get the Kindle Version NOW…![/box]

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Graham Jones
Graham Jones is an Internet Psychologist who studies the way people use the online world, in particular how people engage with businesses. He uses this knowledge to help companies improve their online connections to their customers and potential customers and offers consultancy, workshops, masterclasses and webinars. He also speaks regularly at conferences and business events. Graham is an award-winning writer and the author of 32 books, several of which are about various aspects of the Internet. For more information connect with me on Google+
Graham Jones


Graham Jones is an Internet Psychologist, professional speaker and author of 32 books who helps businesses understand the online behaviour of their customers
RT @SteveHeadSpeaks: Thanks to @GuidesForBrides for having @ChrisHeadMagic at #ukwedconf @MiltonHillhotel learning from the best @grahamjon - 2 days ago
Graham Jones

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