EXCLUSIVE: Facebook to create new language

April FirstFacebook insiders have revealed exclusively to me that later today they will be announcing a new language which is set to revolutionise the web. At the moment the web is mostly in English, with other sites in Japanese, Chinese, and a multitude of European languages. The real difficulty is that translation of pages either costs a lot of money to get right, or automated systems are used that provide a seemingly foolish approximation.

Facebook has discovered that the limit to its global dominance is linguistic. If all of its pages were in a single language that everyone could understand – no matter what their native tongue – Facebook would be able to expand even further.

Two years of research on the words being used on the billions of pages hosted on Facebook has led to an analysis of words which will be understandable the world over. Later today, Facebook is due to hold a press conference announcing the introduction of their new language. It is called the Facebook Open Operating Language (FOOL) and is the First new language to be introduced directly as a result of the Internet.

A Facebook spokesperson said: “We are delighted to have come up with FOOL this April. Our extensive research has shown us that this new language will catch on very quickly. Not only is it completely understandable by everyone, but the humour is also translated. For years people have tried to find a common language which everyone in the world can understand. Our extensive analysis of the languages used on our site has enabled us to do this in a way that wasn’t possible beforehand. We call the technology we used to do this the Analytical Program Researching Into Language (APRIL)”.

With Facebook’s APRIL technology inventing FOOL, is there any other date they could be announcing this breakthrough than today?

No animals were harmed in the making-up of this blog post.

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